The challenge of starting and keeping a relationship: Prevalence rates and predictors of poor mating performance

The challenge of starting and keeping a relationship: Prevalence rates and predictors of poor mating performance. Menelaos Apostolou, Marios Shialos, Elli Kyrou, Artemis Demetriou, Anthi Papamichael. Personality and Individual Differences, Volume 122, February 1 2018, Pages 19–28. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2017.10.004

Highlights
•    Estimates the prevalence rates of poor mating performance
•    Finds that about one in two adults face difficulties in intimate relationships
•    Explores the factors that predict poor mating performance
•    Identifies the evolutionary causes of poor mating performance

Abstract: There are reasons to believe that the mechanisms involved in mating, evolved in a context where marriages were arranged and male-male competition was strong. Thus, they may not work well in a post-industrial context, where mating is not regulated and where male-male competition is weak. As a consequence of the mismatch between ancestral and modern conditions, several individuals may face difficulties in the domain of mating. This study aimed to estimate the prevalence rates of poor mating performance and to identify some of its predictors. In particular, evidence from 1894 Greek and Greek-Cypriot participants from three independent studies, indicated that about one in five individuals found intimate relationships difficult, about one in two experienced difficulties in either starting or keeping a relationship, and about one in five experienced difficulties in both starting and keeping a relationship. Moreover, it was found that sexual functioning, self-esteem, self-perceived mate value, choosiness, personality, attention to looks, and mating effort were significant predictors of poor mating performance. It was also found that men and women closely overlapped in their mating performance, while age did not predict how well people do in the domain of mating.

Keywords: Mating performance; Mismatch problem; Mate choice; Parental choice; Mating

Parental Mate Choice Manipulation Tactics: Exploring Prevalence, Sex and Personality Effects. Menelaos Apostolou, Ioulia Papageorgi. Evolutionary Psychology, Jul 2014, https://doi.org/10.1177/147470491401200307

Abstract: Parents and children are genetically related but not genetically identical, which means that their genetic interests overlap but also diverge. In the area of mating, this translates into children making mate choices that are not in the best interest of their parents. Parents may then resort to manipulation in order to influence their children's mating decisions in a way that best promotes the former's interests. This paper attempts to identify the structure of manipulation tactics that parents employ on their daughters and sons, as well as on their daughters' and sons' mates, and also to estimate their prevalence. On the basis of the structure of the derived tactics, four hypotheses are tested: Mothers are more willing than fathers to use manipulation tactics; parents are willing to use more manipulation on their daughters than on their sons; the personality of parents predicts the use of tactics on their children and on their children's mates; and the personality of children and of children's mates predicts the use of tactics on them. Evidence from two independent studies provides support for the first three hypotheses, but mixed support for the fourth hypothesis. The implications of these findings are further discussed.

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Finally, the age of parents was negatively related to their willingness to apply manipulation on their children and their children’s mates.

One possible explanation for the latter finding is that the residual reproductive value of younger parents is higher than the residual reproductive value of older parents. In other words, parents have more reproductive years ahead of them when they are younger than when they are older. In a pre-industrial context, and most probably during ancestral times, parents would control their children’s mate choices so as to arrange beneficial marriage alliances, and they could divert this cost in their own reproductive effort (Apostolou, 2014). For instance, a father could use the bridewealth he received from the marriage of his daughter to get an additional wife for himself, while a mother could use the resources derived from a beneficial alliance to mother additional children. However, these reproductive benefits are exhausted with age, which means that older parents have less to gain from controlling their children. As a consequence, there will be less intense selection pressures exercised on older parents to control mating, which in turn may result in older parents being less interested in using manipulation to influence their children’s mate choice.