Why attitude to good people is not always positive: explanation based on
decision theory. Part 3 (Why Should We Play Down Emotions: A
Theoretical Explanation) of "How to Make Decisions: Consider Multiple
Scenarios, Consult Experts, Play Down Emotions– Quantitative Explanation
of Common sense Ideas", by Julio Urenda et al. Technical Report
UTEP-CS-19-94, August 2019, to appear in Journal of Uncertain Systems,
2020, Vol. 14. Check http://www.cs.utep.edu/vladik/2019/tr19-94.pdf for a mathematical derivation of the conclusions.
Formulation
of the problem. There are very good people in this world, people who
empathize with others, people who actively help others. Based onall the
nice and helpful things that these good people do, one would expect that
other people would appreciate them, cherish them, and that, in general,
their attitude towards these good people would be positive. However, in
real life,the attitude is often neutral or even negative. The resulting
emotions hurt our ability to listen to their advice and thus, improve
our decisions. Why? Is there a rational explanation for these emotions?
...
Common
sense explanation. From the common sense viewpoint, the above
mathematics makes perfect sense: A very good person is unhappy if other
people are unhappy. If we empathize with this person, we become unhappy
too, and since people do not want to be unhappy, they prefer (at best)
to ignore others’ unhappiness – or even blame them for their own
unhappiness.
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