Longer relationships, dating relationships, & greater subjective overall health predicted high emotional satisfaction for men; for women it was older age, married or cohabiting relationships, & frequent sexual communication

High Emotional and Sexual Satisfaction Among Partnered Midlife Canadians: Associations with Relationship Characteristics, Sexual Activity and Communication, and Health. Shari M. Blumenstock, Christopher Quinn-Nilas, Robin R. Milhausen, Alexander McKay. Archives of Sexual Behavior, October 22 2019. https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10508-019-01498-9

Abstract: Despite midlife adults accounting for a substantial and growing segment of the population, few large-scale studies have investigated factors which distinguish highly satisfying relationships from less satisfying ones in midlife. In a subsample of partnered 40–59-year-old Canadians (705 men, 743 women), relationship characteristics, sexual activity and communication, and health were investigated individually and simultaneously as predictors of high emotional and sexual satisfaction. Though the vast majority of participants reported being at least somewhat satisfied in their current relationship, less than half reported high satisfaction. For men and women, high emotional and sexual satisfactions were strongly linked. Logistic regressions indicated that longer relationships, dating relationships, and greater subjective overall health predicted high emotional satisfaction for men, whereas older age, married or cohabiting relationships, and frequent sexual communication predicted high emotional satisfaction for women. All types of sexual activities (minus penile–anal intercourse) were bivariately related to high emotional and sexual satisfaction. More frequent partnered sexual activity predicted high emotional and sexual satisfaction for men and women in regression analyses. More frequent sexual communication predicted high emotional satisfaction for women and high sexual satisfaction for both men and women. Newer relationships were more sexually satisfying for men. Postmenopausal women were less likely to be highly sexually satisfied. Findings suggest that physical health conditions are not generally related to high levels of satisfaction in midlife couples and that frequently discussing sex and engaging in (any) sexual activity with a partner are key components of highly satisfying relationships.

Keywords Emotional satisfaction Health Midlife relationships Sexual activity Sexual satisfaction

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Emotional Satisfaction

Models of emotional satisfaction indicated unique predictors for men and women. Men were slightly more likely to be highly emotionally satisfied as relationship length increased. This is similar to previous research associations found between relationship length and satisfaction in midlife men (Carpenter et al., 2009; Heiman et al., 2011). As relationships endure, partners may grow closer to each other, strengthening their bond. However, for women, those in shorter relationships were more likely to report high levels of emotional satisfaction. It is unclear why this association was found. It could be that women.s satisfaction levels were better accounted for by the relationship type variable, which indicated gender differences in likelihood of high emotional satisfaction. Women who were cohabiting or married were more than twice as likely to report being very emotionally satisfied compared to those in dating relationships.  In contrast, men in cohabiting relationships were about half as likely to report high emotional satisfaction than those in dating relationships. Previous research in midlife populations had found no differences in high emotional satisfaction between those who were cohabiting/married (combined) and those who had a sexual relationship in the past year but were not cohabiting/ married (i.e., single, separated, or divorced) (Carpenter et al., 2009). The current research suggests that differences in these relationship types likely warrant analyzing them as separate categories, as the differences may be important for how satisfaction is experienced, particularly for men. The different relationship types may broadly indicate levels of commitment between partners, and perceptions of partner commitment has been important for relationship happiness. There are several reasons people may choose to move in with a partner outside of marriage. Indeed, cohabitation is becoming more commonplace, and could serve as a stepping stone on the way to marriage, as a compatibility test for those unsure about a longer commitment, or as an alternative to marriage altogether. The inconsistent findings could also be due to differences in how these relationships were classified in the studies.the Carpenter et al. study of a U.S. sample compared partners who were living together, 94% of whom were married, to those who had any sexual partner in the past year but were not living with them. In the current Canadian sample, cohabitation meant specifically living together and not married, in comparison to those who were married or in a serious dating relationship. Thus, among those who are in a committed romantic relationship of some sort, the type of that relationship may matter for high levels of emotional satisfaction and could reflect levels of partner commitment.

Frequent partnered sexual activity was a significant predictor in both bivariate and regression analyses. In bivariate analyses, engaging in partnered sex once per week or more was associated with increased likelihood of high emotional satisfaction for women and men. In logistic regression models, increases in frequency of any partnered sexual activity were associated with higher likelihood of being highly emotionally satisfied for women and men. This is notable, as the models accounted for sexual satisfaction, indicating physical intimacy could foster feelings of emotional connection and contribute to satisfying relationships beyond feelings of sexual satisfaction. Sex can be a very personal, intimate experience, and therefore has the potential to increase feelings of connection and intimacy when partners are responsive to one another and feel accepted and cared for during sexual activity (Laurenceau et al., 2005). While the exact mechanisms for this association cannot be gleaned from the current study, the findings support other research indicating the importance of sexual intimacy for fostering bonds between partners (Muise, Kim, McNulty, & Impett, 2016a).  In the exploratory bivariate analyses of specific sexual behaviors, all of the sexual activities, when frequent, predicted higher likelihood of being very emotionally satisfied for women and men (except for penile.anal intercourse). These results indicate that frequently connecting with a partner physically may promote feelings of emotional satisfaction regardless of the actual activity. These exploratory findings indicate that more in-depth studies on various sexual activities could help elucidate the roles that physical intimacy may play in emotional satisfaction.

In bivariate analyses, more frequent sexual communication was associated with greater likelihood of women and men being emotionally satisfied, and this remained significant for women in the regression models, but not for men. More frequent sexual communication could be an indicator of overall closeness and comfort in the relationship. Disclosing vulnerabilities to a partner and perceiving the partner.s response to exhibit understanding, validation, and care, lay the foundation of emotional intimacy (Laurenceau et al., 2005; Reis & Shaver, 1988), and this extends into sexual aspects of the relationship.  Being able to disclose sexual likes and dislikes may not only increase the likelihood of a partner.s sexual needs being met, it may also increase feelings of closeness and intimacy (Byers & Demmons, 1999; Coffelt & Hess, 2013; Montesi et al., 2011). In a path analysis study, the association between sexual self-disclosure and sexual satisfaction was fully mediated by relationship satisfaction in women, but only partially in men (MacNeil & Byers, 2009), suggesting that sexual satisfaction may be accounting for the relationship between communication and emotional satisfaction for men. In cross-sex relationships, women are far less likely to experience orgasm during sex with men than men are with women (Armstrong, England, & Fogarty, 2012; Frederick, John, Garcia, & Lloyd, 2018). Perhaps among women, talking about what will bring them pleasure or to orgasm, and the required comfort to do so, may be more important for experiencing sex as a display of, or conduit for, emotional intimacy.

Perceptions of overall health were associated with increased likelihood of high emotional satisfaction for men and women in bivariate analyses. Greater subjective overall health remained a significant predictor in the regression models for men, but not for women. Further, medical conditions were generally not related to high emotional satisfaction for men or women in the bivariate analyses or in the regression models. This was unexpected, given previously found associations between medical conditions and decreased relationship satisfaction (Schwartz et al., 2013). Having a medical condition may strain the couple relationship and result in declines in the emotional satisfaction partners may find within their relationship; however, some research suggests that non-chronic stressors such as illnesses present opportunities for couples to enhance closeness and possibly increase their relationship satisfaction if they successfully cope (Bodenmann, Pihet, & Kayser, 2006; Karney & Bradbury, 1995). While few participants indicated the presence of a medical condition and this study cannot determine exact reasons for these results, it does suggest several avenues for future research, particularly for oversampling participants with specific medical conditions. For example, those who experience a debilitating condition may receive increased support from their partner (Lister et al., 2013), which could result in feeling closer and more cared for within the relationship. Further, the timing of the diagnosis could play a role in its association with satisfaction in a relationship.a newer diagnosis may be more detrimental, but as couples live with the condition longer, they may grow more knowledgeable about the condition and how to cope with it. Indeed, it is likely that midlife couples who report being very emotionally satisfied in their relationships generally employ effective coping strategies for dealing with many stressors, such as a medical condition. It is also possible that the declines in satisfaction may be more significant for the partner than the person experiencing the medical condition (Fisher et al., 2014). These are all important directions for future research. Overall, while health factors could be associated with satisfaction, subjective overall health and medical conditions may not be important determining factors in the difference between a relationship that is somewhat satisfying (or less) versus one that is highly satisfying.