Abstract: Beliefs about which sex lies more or is better at lying can have subtle but widespread effects on human interactions, yet little is known about such beliefs. In Study 1, an American sample of participants (N = 407, ages 18–64) completed a 12-item survey on perceptions of sex differences in deception. In Study 2, a Korean sample (N = 197, ages 19–58) completed the same survey. Men from both cultures and Korean women perceived no difference regarding which sex tells more white (i.e., relatively harmless or low-stakes) lies. American women perceived that women tell more white lies. Women from both cultures and American men perceived that men tell a greater number of serious (i.e., nonwhite or high-stakes) lies. Korean men perceived no difference regarding which sex tells a greater number of serious lies. Both sexes from both countries reported a perception that (1) men are more likely to lie about height, income, and sexual infidelity, (2) women are more likely to lie about weight and age, and (3) women are better at lying. The findings were mixed regarding perceptions about emotional infidelity. Results are interpreted in light of sex-different challenges to mating and parenting.
Keywords: deception, ethnicity, evolutionary psychology, person perception, sex differences
This study aimed to present theoretically significant findings about perceptions of sex differences in deception. American men reported no sex difference in terms of their perception of which sex tells more white lies, whereas American women perceived women as telling more white lies. Korean men and women both perceived no sex difference in terms of who tells more white lies. The common denominator may be that neither sex from neither country reported a belief that men tell more white lies. This is not contrary to our hypothesis that women would be perceived to tell more white lies, but it also does not confirm our hypothesis. Moreover, men are more likely to tell altruistic white lies, but there is no clear sex difference in terms of who tells more Pareto white lies (Capraro, 2018). The current study may not reveal consistent perceptions of sex differences because of this heterogeneous nature of white lies.
Regarding serious lies, American men and women and Korean women perceived men to tell more serious lies. Korean men reported no sex difference. The common denominator may be that neither sex from neither country reported a belief that women tell more serious lies. Thus, our hypothesis that men would be perceived to tell more serious lies was partially confirmed. Given that men tell more black lies (Capraro, 2018), the current study may suggest that people might accurately perceive which sex engages in more serious black lies.
Our hypotheses that men would be perceived to be more likely to lie about height, income, and sexual infidelity were confirmed by both sexes in both countries. Our hypotheses that women would be perceived to be more likely to lie about weight and age were also confirmed by both sexes in both countries. American men and women both reported that women would be more likely to lie about emotional infidelity. To speculate, perhaps Americans interpreted this item as a juxtaposition to the sexual infidelity item and responded to them in opposite ways. Korean women reported that men would be more likely to lie about emotional infidelity, whereas Korean men reported no sex difference. Perhaps Koreans, who also perceive men as more likely to commit sexual infidelity, perceive greater overlap in the constructs of sexual and emotional infidelity. A review of causes of infidelity in Korea proposed that the culture’s conceptual overlap between sexual and emotional infidelity may stem from immature (undeveloped) social discourse on the concept of infidelity (Y. Choi & Park, 2015). Overall, there is less agreement on what constitutes emotional infidelity versus sexual infidelity (Guitar at al., 2017), and this may explain some of the inconsistent findings regarding emotional infidelity.
Regarding which sex is perceived to be better at lying, both sexes from both countries perceived that women are better at lying, thus confirming our hypothesis. To our knowledge, this study is the first of its kind to make this observation and is consistent with the British survey discussed in the introduction. Given this consistency, and given that deception comes in nonverbal forms, more interpretation is demanded beyond the idea that people have a folk psychology understanding of women’s better verbal ability. It is possible that there may be, or may have been during the ancestral past, greater benefits for successful lies or greater costs for unsuccessful lies for women versus men in some contexts. For example, lying about infanticide may be one such context. Infanticide has been practiced in every culture (Williamson, 1978) and is more often performed by women than men (e.g., Kaye et al., 1990). Polygynous mating, which characterizes many current and past societies (Low, 2007), means that a husband is more likely to have a son than any one of his wives (because he has multiple mates), and this coupled with patrilineal inheritance may motivate a mother to commit infanticide of her daughter or a rival wife’s son (e.g., Strassmann, 1997). Lying about sexual infidelity may be another such context, given that women are more likely than men to be killed for sexual infidelity by romantic partners (e.g., Chimbos, 1978; Gartner et al., 1998). Lying about paternity may be yet another context. If the median nonpaternity rates are approximately 2%–3% (Anderson, 2006), that means there are hundreds of thousands of men in the United States who are unaware that they are raising another man’s child, and about an equal number of mothers who are aware of their child’s paternity uncertainty.
If women are indeed better at lying, then the perception of both sexes that women are more skilled at deception reflects an accurate appraisal. If women are not better at lying, then this perception reflects a cognitive bias. This bias may be of the kind predicted by error management theory: Cognitive errors that had asymmetrical consequences to reproductive fitness during the ancestral past would have placed adaptive pressure for a bias in favor of the less costly error (Haselton & Buss, 2000; Haselton & Nettle, 2006). That is, it may have been less costly for men to overestimate rather than underestimate women’s skill in lying in order to, for example, avoid being cuckolded. Likewise, it may have been less costly for women to overestimate women’s skill in lying in order to, for example, defend against intrasexual threats such as the spreading of false rumors about a woman’s sexual reputation.
A limitation of the study is that the survey was short. Although this was purposeful, it meant that potentially interesting areas of perceptions of sex differences in deception were unexplored. Mating and parenting are the two broad domains of human reproduction but only the former was examined here. A future study could examine perceptions that pertain to parenting. For example, do people believe mothers or fathers are more likely to tell lies that are meant to nurture, encourage, and protect their children? Another opportunity is to examine which sex actually engages in more such lies toward children using different methods such as diaries (e.g., DePaulo et al., 1996) or experimental designs (e.g., Capraro, 2018).
Another limitation is that we do not know whether participants had prior knowledge about actual sex differences in deception about mating factors, for example, that men do indeed lie more about height. If so, then participants may have simply applied that knowledge when responding to the mating items. If participants did not have such knowledge, and given that their responses for the most part accurately reflected what men and women do in fact lie about, then this suggests that each sex is attuned to what the other sex is seeking in terms of mating factors and that each sex is motivated to lie accordingly. This would be consistent with the idea that the sexes’ mating efforts have coevolved in a mutually antagonistic manner (Buss, 2017). A future study could attempt to statistically control for prior knowledge about sex differences in deception about certain mating factors by asking, for example, how frequently participants engage in online dating or use dating apps.
In sum, the importance of contexts that are directly or indirectly relevant to reproduction is emphasized as a guide for future research on sex differences in deception. Differences between men and women in the quantity or quality of lies may be absent in contexts that are irrelevant to reproduction, for example, lying about the playing cards one is holding, and for good reason—there is no theoretical grounding for why the sexes should be different in such an example. Conversely, contexts that in one form or another relate to the sex-different challenges to mating and parenting faced during the ancestral past have the potential to reveal a great deal about men’s versus women’s deception.
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