Letters To A Spanish Youngster III

Letters To A Spanish Youngster III
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Your Honor gift of the gods, the most gentle and amiable being, Who teaches the stars new paths to travel through,

I write to You overpowered by the sound of Your voice and the visions of the beautiful and the just that can be found in You*.

Thinking of Your virtuous behaviour helps in the (small) mitigation of the unimportant and unsignificant misery Your humble servant lives in when You are far from him. There are, at the same time, a thousand melancolies and manifold magnificences having You so distant...

But I do not live with troubled thoughts, and anguish, and doubts, and fear, and sorrow, and pain** all the time, like others do... I am happy knowing Your Honor is well and content... I just live perplexed (borrowing from Milton in 'Paradise Lost') thinking of Your smile and good-natured attitude.

---
I found recently a list of apologies in the Net... I deeply regret that I didn't ask appropriately for forgiveness at the beginning, in my very first letter:

*    I know my actions...    Looking back, I realise that...    Please don't be angry     I accept full responsibility     I am so ashamed     I can understand how you feel     I do apologize     I don't know what to say     I really am most terribly sorry    I regret...     I take all the blame     Pardon me!     Please accept my apologies     Please excuse my thoughtlessness

*    I now realise that I shouldn't have done that     I'm sure you must be very disappointed in me    Please don't be mad at me/don't kill me     I accept that I am to blame/that it's my fault    I am such an idiot     I am sorry to have disappointed you     I apologize wholeheartedly/unreservedly    I cannot say/express how sorry I am     I have reflected on my actions and...    I know it was wrong of me to...     If I could turn back the clock,...    It was insensitive of me  Please accept my sincerest apologies    There is absolutely no excuse for my actions/behaviour/inaction/laziness    You are right to blame me     You must forgive me

*    I know I have let myself/you down     I know it was thoughtless of me     I can see how you might be annoyed      I can't believe I...     I don't know what came over me     I don't know what got into me     I just want the ground to swallow me up     I take full responsibility     I think I went too far    I was in the wrong     I messed up    I would like to express my regret     I'm happy to take the blame     If I could take it all back, I would     It was inexcusable    It's unforgivable, I know     Don't hold this against me

(I read them all and made a few changes >>> all mistakes are mine, as always.)

---
Madam, to speak of You is to take not only a noble theme, but one of the noblest ones†:

         [The shape of your face is in my mind.                                     [Las formas de Vuestro rostro están en mi mente.
         ­It is to you I have been speaking all this time,                         Sois Vos de quien he estado hablando todo
                                                                                                                                                             [este tiempo,
         Slowly, but driven by an intense delight.                                  con calma, pero empujado por el intenso deleite.
         And you will sense my soul purged of all vileness                 Y Vos sentiréis mi alma purgada de toda vileza
         Speaking as it does here, in this high form;                            hablando como aquí hace, de esta forma elevada;
         And this, after having locked away so many years,                 y aquella, tras haber estado encerrada tantos
                                                                                                                                                          [años, con la
         This purity remaining, should do my love some credit.]         pureza que aun le queda, debería dar a mi amor
                                                                                                                                                [algún crédito.]


But I am conscious of how much lacking of talent are these writings I send You. It is my hope that You will pardon me for my poor letters, my lack of knowledge and imagination, and those boring texts I copied to offer to You, to honor You, dear lady.

On account of my lack of skill (writing, or while near You, or when my path crosses Yours) I would sometimes like to disappear, but getting to know about You keeps me here on Earth, gentil espíritu†:

[Quisiera huir; pero los amorosos rayos relucen tanto que me encandilan mucho más que el primer día].


In English, same verses:

         [I want to flee: but those loving beams
         [...]
         shine so much that [...]
         they daze me more than on the first day:]


I wish these verses† could make that Your Grace had mercy upon me and allowed me to keep sending You, señora mía, letters like these:

        [Id, cálidos suspiros, hacia el frío corazón;
        romped el hielo que cierra el paso a la piedad,
        y si ruego mortal el cielo escucha,
        muerte o merced pongan fin a mi dolor.
        Id, dulces pensamientos, hablando claramente
        de aquello a lo cual no llega la bella mirada:]


And last of all, an invocation to be inspired‡:

         "Ye learnèd sisters, [...]
         Bring with you all the Nymphes that you can hear
         Both of the rivers and the forests green,
         [...]
         And let them also with them bring in hand
         Another gay garland
         For my fair love, of lillies and of roses,".


---
My dear master, please allow me to end the letter de forma elevada†:

        [La obra es tan noble, tan agraciada y extraordinaria,
        que mirada mortal con ella no se atreve;
        tanto, en los ojos fuera de medida bellos,
        parece que Amor derrame gracia y dulzura.]


And in the wonderful and blessed Italian language†:

        "Felice l'alma che per voi sospira,
        Lumi del ciel;".


Es mi ilusión que estas cosas tan bonitas le complazcan a Su Señoría.

Very sad for my shyness and unpolished behavior when meeting You (always unexpectedly, since I try not to bother You with my presence), I wish You that "All happiness attend you!,"* my lady.

"Your affectionate" servant*,

                 a. r. ante Su Señoría

--
Notes

*  Adapted from Percy B Shelley's 'Dedication to Leigh Hunt, Esq.,' in the dedication of The Cenci, 1819.

**  Adapted from J Milton's Paradise Lost, 1674 edition, i.558.

†  Adapted from Francesco Petrarca, Petrarch Songs and Sonnets, A Bilingual Selection, translated by Richard Kilmer (London: Anvil Press Poetry, 2011), Petrarch: The Canzoniere, or Rerum Vulgarium Fragmenta, translated by Mark Musa (Bloomington: Indiana University Press, 1996), and Atilio Pentimalli's translation (Barcelona: Ediciones Orbis, 1998): LXXI, 7-15; CVII, 5-8; CLIII, 1-6; CLIV, 5-8; LXXI, 67-8.

‡  Edmund Spenser's Epithalamion. The learned sisters should be the Muses. In the old spelling:

         "Ye learnèd sisters, [...]
         Bring with you all the Nymphes that you can heare
         Both of the riuers and the forrests greene,
         [...]
         And let them also with them bring in hand
         Another gay girland
         For my fayre loue, of lillyes and of roses,".

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