Rolf Degen summarizing... There is a tragic tendency for romantic relationships to run out of steam in the long term, and psychological interventions have proved incapable of reversing the "loss of positives"

When the Loss of Positives feels Negative: Exploring the Loss of Positive Experiences in Committed Couples. Danielle M. Weber, Donald H. Baucom. Current Opinion in Psychology, July 22 2021. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.copsyc.2021.07.015

Highlights

• Positive experiences in committed couples can decrease over time.

• Positives can decrease for various reasons, including increased external demands.

• Interventions from Cognitive-Behavioral Couple Therapy can enhance positives.

Abstract: Despite romantic relationships being characterized by high positives (e.g., enjoyable activities, positive feelings) early in commitment, many couples experience a loss of positives over time. However, interventions are typically not as effective at enhancing positives as they are at reducing negatives (e.g., hostile conflict). Thus, it is important to understand why positives decrease and how to use interventions to enhance positives optimally. In this article, we present how the field has evolved to (a) heighten focus on positives independent of negatives, (b) identify trajectories of positives over time, and (c) clarify major factors which predict loss of positives. From a Cognitive-Behavioral Couple Therapy perspective, we offer therapeutic strategies that may hold promise for enhancing positives in relationships.

Keywords: positives in relationshipscouplescouple interventionscognitive behavior therapy

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Against this optimistic abstract, I prefer Rolf Degen's take: There is a tragic tendency for romantic relationships to run out of steam in the long term, and psychological interventions have proved incapable of reversing the "loss of positives"