Exploring Links Between Online Infidelity, Mate Poaching Intentions, and the Likelihood of Meeting Offline. Liesel L. Sharabi, Maximiliane Uhlich, Cassandra Alexopoulos, and Elisabeth Timmermans. Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking Vol. 24, No. 7, Jul 15 2021. https://doi.org/10.1089/cyber.2020.0563
Abstract: This study examines digitally enabled mate poaching on Ashley Madison, an online dating platform for extradyadic affairs. To explore mate poaching as a potential explanation for what drives users of Ashley Madison to transition their online relationships to offline encounters, we conducted a multinational survey of 1,676 users (88.5 percent male, Mage = 50.98). Participants provided open-ended data about their mate poaching objectives, which ranged from short-term sexual encounters to long-term sexual and emotional affairs and new exclusive relationships. Structural equation modeling showed that participants' attitudes toward online infidelity predicted whether they would consider meeting someone from the website in person. Mate poaching intentions also mediated the effect of attitudes toward online infidelity on the likelihood of meeting another user face to face in the future. The results extend evolutionary theories of mate poaching to the digital dating environment and demonstrate the value of these perspectives for explaining relationship initiation practices on infidelity websites.
Discussion
Despite estimates that as many as 10 to 15 percent of relationships begin through mate poaching,4,6 little attention has been devoted to poaching another's partner as a relationship initiation strategy in the context of infidelity websites that enable the pursuit of extradyadic affairs. The goal of the present investigation was to extend research and theorizing on mate poaching to the digital environment by soliciting responses from current Ashley Madison users about their (a) mate poaching objectives, (b) attitudes and intentions for engaging in mate poaching online, and (c) likelihood of moving a relationship FtF.
Ashley Madison is not the only online dating website that can be used for infidelity, but it is one of the few places where it is common. This makes Ashley Madison a unique context for studying relationship initiation practices that are elsewhere less actively used or more highly stigmatized. The results of our descriptive analyses point to several distinct qualities of Ashley Madison's users and the types of relationships they were seeking online. For one, our sample skewed male, which coheres with previous findings showing that men are more likely to mate poach than women.6 In addition, around half of our participants were unmarried, thus demonstrating that certain individuals may use infidelity websites for mate poaching even when they themselves are not currently in a relationship. For individuals who are married, these platforms may be used to pursue mating opportunities with others who possess seemingly better qualities than their current partner, whereas for those who are unmarried, they might provide access to desirable partners who would otherwise be off limits.4,37 We also found that although most participants' goals for mate poaching were directed at short-term relationships, around a third indicated openness to long-term or exclusive involvement. This suggests that infidelity websites are used for more than temporary sexual gratification, and that users may occasionally desire serious relationships with the individuals they meet on these platforms.
Tests of our proposed model uncovered a number of individual factors related to participants' mate poaching intentions and likelihood of meeting offline. Based on research showing that individuals with stronger entity beliefs are more likely to perceive others' behaviors as indicative of their future actions (e.g., “once a cheater, always a cheater”),15 we proposed that participants with more fixed views of personality would be less inclined to mate poach or meet offline. Interestingly, we found that participants' attitudes toward online infidelity, but not their implicit theories of personality, predicted their mate poaching intentions and likelihood of meeting FtF. Perhaps people attribute others' reasons for mate poaching to forces external to the individual, such as frequent conflicts with a partner or feeling undervalued in a relationship, thereby exhibiting self-serving bias rooted in their own engagement in online infidelity.
As expected, participants' mate poaching intentions were a strong predictor of whether they would consider meeting FtF. There was also a mediating effect of mate poaching intentions on the association between attitudes toward online infidelity and the likelihood of transitioning a relationship offline. For individuals who are less inclined to meet others in the flesh, Ashley Madison may be more about the fantasy of infidelity than the reality of FtF contact. Future research can build on these findings by exploring the motivations and behaviors of individuals who use infidelity websites for reasons not involving FtF encounters. In addition, we found that men were less likely than women to anticipate meeting someone in person. If men do indeed outnumber women on these platforms, then it could be that there is more competition among men for partners, while at the same time, women encounter a larger mating pool that allows them to be more selective and presents more opportunities for meeting FtF. These results emphasize the importance of mate poaching intentions for explaining why online encounters transgress offline, where they could potentially develop into traditional affairs.
Our study highlights the connection between the evolutionary roots of human mate poaching behaviors and online relationship-seeking practices. Infidelity websites enable mating strategies that are challenging to implement. People often guard their partners from perceived threats,4 but infidelity websites expand the eligible dating pool by providing access to individuals who are open to extradyadic involvement. There are also consequences to mate poaching that might deter some users of infidelity websites from meeting FtF, including reputational damage,38 the loss of social network ties,10 and retribution by a current partner.39 However, the characteristics of the online environment (e.g., increased anonymity) eliminate some risks, which may explain the enduring popularity of platforms such as Ashley Madison despite the stigma surrounding their use.
Limitations and future directions
This study has limitations. First, users of Ashley Madison and other similar platforms are often men, which limits our ability to make claims about women's experiences on infidelity websites. Second, despite asking participants whether their partner consented to their behaviors on Ashley Madison, we do not know the individual circumstances of other users or the extent to which they made it known whether their relationships were monogamous. Third, to avoid overwhelming participants and risking attrition, we used abbreviated measures to keep the survey short. Fourth, this study focused on user intentions rather than on actual behaviors, and there may sometimes be barriers to meeting others FtF. For instance, Ashley Madison has received scrutiny in the past for using female bots to communicate with male users,40 which would clearly prevent some relationships from leaving the platform. Finally, our study was cross-sectional and relied on participant self-reports. Some Ashley Madison users may hesitate to disclose an interest in permanent mating, and thus the occurrence of poaching for long-term or exclusive relationships may be underestimated. Future longitudinal research should continue to examine the long-term outcomes of the relationships formed through infidelity websites, as well as patterns of serial poaching among users of such platforms.
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