Why Women Choose Divorce: An Evolutionary Perspective

Why Women Choose Divorce: An Evolutionary Perspective. Gillian Parker et al. Current Opinion in Psychology, July 31 2021. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.copsyc.2021.07.020

Abstract: In Western dual-educated, male-female marriages, women who divorce face greater burdens due to decreased income and primary or sole responsibility for caring for children than do men who divorce. Why, then, do these women initiate divorce more and fare better psychologically after divorce than men? Here, we articulate an evolutionary mismatch perspective, informed by key findings in relationship science. We argue that mismatches between women’s evolved preferences and configurations of modern marriage often clash, producing dissatisfaction. Women’s unprecedented career ascendance also affords women ever more freedom to leave. We discuss pressures from social expectations for men and women that contribute to or compound these vulnerabilities. We conclude with key questions for future research, which can contribute to strategies for mitigating relationship dissatisfaction and the profound loss and pain that results from divorce.

Keywords: divorceevolutionary mismatchesgender rolesunpaid labormate preferences

1.4. Working toward solutions

In sum, a loss of interdependence, along with evolved-preference mismatches, pose threats to modern marriage. Before solutions, we need research to address gaps in the literature. We suggest that answering questions in four key areas will help.

1.4.1. Undoing gendered norms

First, conflicts over unpaid labor stem in part from gendered norms that differ by sex – for example, that women are caregivers and men are breadwinners. Can associations between type of labor and masculinity and femininity be lessened? Messaging campaigns that reframe these activities could help to increase women’s and men’s comfort with counter-normative work and satisfaction in counter-normative marriages.

1.4.2. Childcare assistance

Second, if gendered associations with paid and unpaid labor prove difficult to undo, might assistance with childcare be a better or more immediate solution? Research should address whether this solution challenges gender norms less and the extent to which reduces the burden on mothers, potentially producing greater satisfaction in marriages in which women major or primary breadwinners. Assistance could be hired, provided by employers, or provided by the government, which is growing in political popularity56. In some instances, help could also come from extended kin, particularly grandparents, who have a vested interest in the happiness of their children and the success of their grandchildren. Without assistance many women will continue to feel pressured to do double-duty or attempt to have their male partners help – but with tasks that men do not prefer, potentially damaging the satisfaction of both partners.

1.4.3. Agreements about specializations and interdependence

Third, households, like organizations, could run more efficiently when each person specializes in, rather than shares, a type of labor57. With specialization can come greater interdependence between partners – each needs the other for the family to succeed. Research should address whether couples can be more explicit about division of labor and whether this enhances interdependence, producing positive relationship maintenance processes.

1.4.4. Meta-knowledge about mismatches

Last, can knowledge of evolved psychology allow partners to recognize that pangs of dissatisfaction are “ancestral relics” and reframe them in ways that are less harmful to relationships? This is a question whose answer might have broad relevance to other evolutionary mismatches, including those that can occur in the realm of romantic relationships (e.g., casual sex58) and well-known mismatches between evolved preferences for foods high levels of sugar, fat, and salt and preserving good health. We see this as a particularly intriguing question and a priority.